Petruchio and Kate: Yikes!

Notes for Petruchio and Kate's first counseling session:
I have never meet such a poorly matched couple! Petruchio and Kate are so ill-matched that it seems impossible that they will ever work out their issues. When they came into my office, they were already arguing. Petruchio had ripped off Kate's hat when they opened the door, and in a fit of anger, she hit him! What an entrance! They continued to bicker over which seats they wanted and they were not pleased to discover that there was one couch for them to share. Petruchio sat at one end and Kate the other. I couldn't believe my eyes! Are they really married? I doubted that any romantic relationship was happening. Once the couple settled down, it was clear that there was a struggle for power. Kate and Petruchio continued to argue over each other and I didn't even get to ask any questions because they kept arguing! They were arguing about their terrible ride over and how Kate had fallen in mud and Petruchio yelled and Kate prayed...ect. Once I was finally able to speak (30 minutes later, mind you) I asked one question: "Let's introduce ourselves so we can truly get to know each other and feel confortable: I am Dr. Condas, what are your names or what would you liked to be called?" Katherine said, "My name is Katherine and I this is what I would like to..." before Petruchio interjected yelling, "KATE! YOUR NAME IS KATE!" I was obviously shocked. This couple couldn't even figure out their names and I began to doubt their marriage. After this awkward exchange, I realized the huge problem for this couple: they were just too similar. They always say "opposites attract" and this case, it is extremely correct. Petruchio and Kate are equally headstrong, argumentative, and rude and this is the main reason they can't seem to get along. I proceeded to ask them more questions about their relationship, "Who wears the pants in this relationship?" to which both individuals responded, "me!" I was lost for words. As I scribbled notes in my notebook, they continued to shout and scream as I observed their behavior. It was like watching a tennis match, the ball going back and forth repeatedly. Before I knew it, our session was up and I was relieved. I have spent 15 years in this business and I have never seen such a couple in this kind of distress. I have no short-term goals for this couple as I feel more sessions are in order to completely assess the situation. One long-term goal I have for the couple is I want them to begin to respect each other as equals and to stop arguing so much. I hope that Petruchio and Kate will return back to my office as I feel they really need some help. Phew, my head is killing me!

To Change or Not to Change?

It has been a tradition for hundreds of years: a woman changes her maiden name to her husband's last name after marriage. It has been a point of discussion in the last few decades. I personally think that the woman should be able to make this decision for herself. If a woman feels inclined to change her name, she should change it. If she doesn't feel comfortable changing her name or wishes to keep her maiden name simply for personal reasons, this is acceptable too. I can see why this may be seen as
"ridding of the woman's identity" but I think if the name change is made for the right reasons and has the consent of the woman, I don't think it really matters. 

In regards to The Taming of the Shrew, when Petruchio renames Katherine, "Kate," it does change  her identity. Katherine protests to this new name, and to her dislike, he decides to permanently rename her which robs her of her identity. Her name gives her power. Her name reminds her peers of her great talent with language, something that she is proud of. "Kate" is an unfamiliar name to her and her peers, bringing feelings of ownership and confusion. In comparing the play to current times, it is important to consider how time period plays a part in this dilemma. During Shakespeare's time, women were objects to marry off, pawns on a chess board, waiting to be taken by a knight. Although in some cases this is true of women today, generally, women have the right to decide whether or not to change their maiden name or not, a power that should not be taken away. 

The F Word

I am a proud, card-carrying feminist. Feminism is something that has, quite frankly, shaped the way I perceive the world and my interactions with others. I first discovered feminism two years ago and it changed my world and the way I viewed situations. When I first explained to my peers my new perspective, I received a lot of scrutiny and hate. They asked questions like, "Why do we need feminism, it's the twentieth century!" and "Are you still going to shave your legs?" I got so much scrutiny and as a result, I was quiet for fear of judgement. I was appalled by the negative attention that people were giving me, as I was only having polite discussion and I was not trying to be aggressive (which feminists often are labeled.) And then I realized all the sudden why people were acting this way: it was because feminists are portrayed so negatively in the media. Feminism has a negative connotation in today’s society. The media often portrays one image of feminists: this being that all feminists are hairy-legged, man-hating lesbians. This is rarely the case. Feminism is the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men, that's all. It is often taken completely out of context and anti-feminists often criticize feminism for it's aggression and radicalism which is wrong. I hope that opening the discussion up about feminism will truly define it, eliminating the negative connotation. But before this takes place, there needs to be open and respectful conversation.

Here is an excellent speech by Emma Watson, an intelligent and eloquent feminist who explains the importance of feminism. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9SUAcNlV